He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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