so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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