tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
