Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize