so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
