Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
