"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
