Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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