i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
