It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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