At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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