I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
