I should be sponsored by Trojan
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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