i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
