ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
