I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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