so that wasnt chicken after all
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
