i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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