i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
