So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This house was built for laser tag.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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