He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
