Nicole vs. Life
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
