that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
