oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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