I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
