Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize