Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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