So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
