i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
