Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
