We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
