Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
