Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
