My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
