And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
