sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
