Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
