I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
