who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
