Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
