Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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