that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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