His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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