Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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