he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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