so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
