it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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