All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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