Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize