your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
