we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
