saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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