I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
