Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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