I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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