The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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