So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am one with the molecules
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
