i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Swine flu. Run for my life!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
