i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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