I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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