worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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