If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
