Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
