Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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